I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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