what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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