that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
