I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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