please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
