whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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