i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
