So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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