Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
