I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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