omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
