Someone shit on the floor
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
