I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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