I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
