i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
