Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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