It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
