Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's the barista slut.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I need moral support for this bender
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
