my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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