you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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