I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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