Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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