Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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