I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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