We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
