I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
