Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
