She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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