i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
