dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
