He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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