So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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