Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
