Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
