This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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