one might say we're banned from that church
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
