but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
