They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
