im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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