It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
