I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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