If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
