can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This is the high leading the old right now
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
