She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am available for nakedness
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
