Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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