I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
