4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
"it" just moved
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
