Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
