We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
