I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
