We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
