did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
