I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
