have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
