you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
