when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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