Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
