I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
